So list them. Explore them. And then, ask the big question (the one we were after all along...): What am I going to do instead? What would happen if I changed all those can'ts with won'ts? Then they wouldn't be excuses, they would be choices. Ouch. But here's the thing - I would finally take ownership. Because it's by finally coming face to face with my weaknesses that I can become really strong and clear.Read More
Yesterday I posted my first ever "presentational video" on a Facebook coaching mentoring group (as opposed to, say, a video of my son doing impromptu Scottish country dancing in the street). In an effort to put awareness to practice in an everyday activity (posting on social media), I paid close attention to: a) my feelings, b) my intentions, and c) how much freaking time I wasted throughout the day checking to see the progression of likes, comments, and composing replies.Read More
Have you ever stopped to ponder what really lies at the bottom of courage? Why some people just seem to get on with it, whilst other dilly-dally, procrastinate, or always seem to have valid reasons why they cannot advance or it takes them so long? Do you know what makes a brave person brave? Action.Read More
I can't get energised about anything because there is very little in my to do list that is actually mine (or for reasons that are exclusively mine). Wow. I'm in my early forties and there's very little of me in my life. How the f*** did that happen?
Modern life is all about doing and having: our sense of self, our self-esteem, how we are perceived and valued by others. Although most people, when asked, would say that what is crucial is who you are, how this is practically defined is all about what you spend your time, skills, and attention doing. Although most of us say 'just be yourself', there are few of us who can simply say 'just be' (and mean it!).Read More
A long while ago I attended a yoga workshop where the teacher used David Whyte's "10 questions that have no right to go away". She wrote them on small pieces of paper, put them face down, and we all got to pick one up. On mine was written "What can I be whole-hearted about?"Read More
Our best parenting teachers are our children. We don’t teach them, they teach us.
Every day they hold up a mirror to us and reflect back what we give them. They are great masters of consciousness. Little Buddhas of enlightenment. Prophets of awareness. Gurus of mindfulness. Yes, even when they are inconsolable. Even when they scream. Or throw things on the floor. But to write about parenting is to invite conflict.Read More
We grow up surrounded (sometimes suffocated) by others' opinions, pronouncements, and ideas of who WE are. Like an invisible scaffold that shapes our facades, we evolve unaware of the frontiers and contours of our own domains - busy as we are trying to read other people's maps.
Awareness can be a lot of fun. Trust me.Read More
If we let our emotions course through our body, as they are designed to do, we wouldn’t need the mind doctors so much. This is easy to say. Very hard to do. Because all of us, in the current era of mind dominance, have been taught from a very early age that feelings need to be kept in check, especially the negative ones.
Hold on. There are no negative emotions. All emotions are created equal. All have their use.Read More
You tick off the things you’ve accomplished and happily keeping working down the list. (...) Then, about three quarters through my list, I realised this wasn’t working for me. I had the education, the job, the partner, the “success”. Yet I felt totally lost.Read More